Parents, Stop Pretending Your 11-Year-Old Is Running a Media Team Out of the Minivan to promote their game and Step Away from the Tripod
It’s happening in rinks everywhere: a dad hunched over his phone in the stands, a mom with ring lights in the minivan, all working overtime to make their 12-year-old look like the second coming of Connor McDavid—on Instagram.
The handle? Something subtle, like @FutureNHL_Prodigy12.
The bio? “Grind. Hustle. Respect. #Draft2029.”
The content? Ten-second clips of toe-drags, edits with slow-motion zooms, and captions written as if the kid personally negotiated a deal with Bauer.
And for what? Clout. Fake hype. Digital fairy dust that fools no one except other parents making the same mistakes.
Here’s the inconvenient truth: coaches, scouts, and GMs don’t care about your kid’s highlight reel set to Drake. They care about the backcheck your reel “forgot” to include.
Your perfectly curated posts don’t scream “future NHLer”—they scream, “Mom and Dad are so desperate for attention they’re using their kid as a like validation vending machine.”
Coaches roll their eyes.
Scouts start wondering, “If Mom is running this circus at 12, what happens when he’s 16?”
Teammates, “Here comes Hastag Harry… what is he going to do today for his mom to post on teh gram,” and stop inviting him to mini sticks.
Fake story (names pulled out of thin air), but yeah I know you you’ve seen this in someone you know: A 4-year-old kid in Minnesota had a highlight reel posted weekly. His parents captioned it in third person: “Caleb dominated the O-zone tonight.” By 6, Mom had the kid “sponsored” by hockey tape companies and filming stick unboxings. By 8, Dad was stuck recording hours of ice time just to clip one decent play for Instagram. By 10, the kid cared more about edits than playing the game—and got cut from every team he played for year after year thereafter. By 14, he wanted nothing to do with hockey… or his mom’s highlight reels.
Fake Hype = Real Damage
Instagram hype makes kids play for likes instead of for the team. They force toe-drags when the smart play is a chip and chase. They take coast-to-coast rushes that end in turnovers just because “it’ll look sick on the reel.”
Meanwhile, coaches notice. Teammates resent it. Opponents smell blood. And when the hype doesn’t match the performance, your kid gets branded a fraud. That label sticks harder than a bad nickname.
The Creepiest Part? Parents Running Accounts in “Kid Voice”. We need to say it: writing posts in your kid’s name is weird. It’s insane. Really think about it.
“I battled hard in the corners tonight. Great assist for my hat trick from his winger Tom. That is my 20 point in half the games. Another great W for the boys.”
No, Liam didn’t write that. No hockey player would every write that. It’s cringe. It’s desperate. And it torpedoes your kid’s credibility faster than a soft goal in overtime.
Brutal Takeaways for Instagram Kid Parents
Instagram isn’t development. A highlight reel doesn’t teach grit, discipline, or hockey IQ.
Fake hype burns bridges.
Coaches and scouts don’t buy it. Teammates definitely don’t.
Your kid deserves their own voice. Stop typing like you’re them. It’s dishonest—and embarrassing.
Less TikTok, more toe drags in practice. Development happens on ice, not online.
Final Buzzer
Parents, here’s your wake-up call: your kid doesn’t need a PR agent. They don’t need hashtags, third-person captions, or staged highlight reels. They need ice time, honest coaching, teammates who trust them, and room to fall on their face without it going viral.
Because here’s the ultimate truth: scouts aren’t searching Instagram. They’re searching for hockey players with brains, character, and compete. You can’t filter that.
Delete the account. Close the app. Hand the game back to your kid.
Image Suggestion: A candid shot from Unsplash or Pexels of a kid lacing up skates in a locker room while a parent scrolls their phone in the background—capturing the vibe of “whose dream is this, anyway?”
